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You are viewing the most recent 25 entries.
4th December 2006 |
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| Monday.December 4th.2006: new lj iamderekjames | |
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| Sunday.November 5th.2006:
dear journal, its cold in my room,and i sit awkard.i hear music playing but it plays me no sound.the goosbumps i have recvied three minutes ago getb worse and make the hair stick up.hearts beating hard but my actions are but sloth.talking to myself as loud as i can within my head knowing the awers to my continuing repeating answers im askign myself but unwilling to accpet them.so my head rests in my parhed arm holding it ,i stare at the opnly thing athat appears infront of me.aportriat of you at your finest.telling you i love you. darkeve -d Current Mood:
 lonely | |
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| Thursday.February 9th.2006:
Dear journal, its 2 40 in te mourning and im tired.the damn music is playing and i like the silence at night.my ears ring.it comforting.i got up at least 5 times today.i could never sleep a full 6 hours.my fault,iguess i place my self in the situation.uncomfortable.depressing.i keep staring at the key thats on the side of my keyboard.i ponder and ponder.i walked to my mothers house today.5 miles.in converse.i wore a scarf.i like scarfs,its long but i dont complain..i tend to like it.my minds in complete purgorty from were its suposed to be.on 13 diffrent tracks.like winding up a hand full of toy cars and watching them zip around and every direction.its rather warm in the room.its nice.knowing my bed awaits me i sit here in diisgust.its dirty.repeaditly steped on an sheetless.my current situation.i am finding my self more obessive complusive at night.i am surrounded by un cleansily habbits.controlable.eh.my eye is swollen.christ sakes.Knowing that ihave to get i and i must take into consiteration that i need to sleep now.i simply do not want to.i simply dont care.work drains me.it pays off.i recieved a vist today by cynthia.shes many reason of my existence still.i am appreciative.very.the week will become better now.i sit and stare at the computerscreen in a blank state hoping to come back to reality.my key board is lopsided.agravation.i would love to delmolish the plastic demon.im hungrey.it 302.i rather not.but must.sleep.hopefully find what i am always looking for in my slumber dreams.her. -d Current Mood:
 blank | |
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| Wednesday.December 14th.2005: straight up Dear journal, I liek what i do on a daily bases.and some can not comprehened thatis my life and i enjoy fucking doing it everyday.if you dont like it well thats to fucking bad.so yeah i like seeing my girlfriend everyday and going to band when i dont get to see my gf.tahts me and suck a fat one.the ened derek Current Mood:
 amusedCurrent Music: see you next tuesday
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Wednesday.December 7th.2005: dear santa
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| Wednesday.November 23rd.2005: writers block ( songs i have written and found ) Current Mood:
blankCurrent Music: as i lay dying
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| Thursday.November 17th.2005: do it 01: what is your first memory of me: 02: how long have we been friends: 03: tell about one memory we share together: 04: describe me in four adjectives: 05: if we could spend a day together what would we do: 06: name one thing you really don't like about me: 07: name one thing you really do like about me: 08: if you could give me a gift what would it be: 09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what: 10: have we ever hugged: 11: have we ever danced with each other: 12: have you ever seen me cry: 13: have i ever offended you: 14: what is something embarrassing that i've done: 15: what do i usually look like when you see me: 16: what do i say all the time..whats my catch phrase: 17: do you think we will be friends in 5 years: 18: do you think i am bitchy: 19: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't: 20: what advice would you give me, in general: 21: are we close friends..if not why?: 22: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to: 23: is there a song that reminds you of me: Current Mood:
 thoughtfulCurrent Music: seventh heaven theme song
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Thursday.November 3rd.2005:
 4 months with the most amazing girl ever ( Cynthia Jane+Derek James ) Current Mood:
 happy | |
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| Wednesday.October 12th.2005:
dear journal, I submitted a tee shirt design called Face of hearts to Threadless.com to be voted on and hopefully printed. If I get enough high scores the shirt will be printed and sold from the site and I will win some prizes. Take a look at it and if you like it, sign up and give it a score. URL: http://www.threadless.com/submission/56 so if you all could help me out i would give you all somthingin return Current Mood:
 creativeCurrent Music: tilly and the wall
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| Sunday.September 25th.2005:
Dear Journal, I have been to busy to write in here.so most of my entrys have been lame shorts that really dont tell much.A lots has happened and theres too much i dont ned to type.For the much i do want to I will summerize up for it.Came Back from Cali.Fun not goign to say i ddint have fun and def changed me for the best.Me and Justin have seen prety much the world through all new eyes.Cali is like a dream were you wnat to be ...but just to expensive to keep dreaming.Andrea.Well lets just say my heart was about to jump out of my chest when i knocked on her door.She was more in shock then i was.well i only got to see her three tmimes the whole month i was there.eh i mean she wasnt the reason why i went there.but was def a plus.the things i could type you all wouldnt understand.Well me and justin ended up in santa barb...homeless.ha.Meet alot of amazing people there and i def dont regret going.Lets face it Rhodeisalnd sucks.and everyone knows it.theres nothing good here and the people sucks just as much.well we made it home and all.I had to take the bus back another four days ...eek.Came back to being homeless agian in rhodeisalnd..well yeah.ha.well everyone eneded hating me for leaving to go to cali and some said mean hatefull things towards me.not like i care personally but.it slowly seeps in you know.fuck them.started the band with eric tim justin and myself.started out so good.i left agian.went to illinios.eh didnt turn up the way i wanted to .well i mean what ever does.nothing.i never think it will but for some odd reason i give myself the lil hope i have left in my self.so i ended up staying there longer then i excpected.yet agian.not what i wanted but...its derek.and guiess what.ends up bad as always and yet agian i left on my own back to were i never wanted to be in the first place.rhodeisland sucks i know.but its home.not much i can do about it.i do miss it when i do my lil ghosting adventures.so came back and the band blew up.such good things came.And when i was not searching god was nice to me one time .and Miss Cin Jane was placed before my eyes.So guess coming back was good for me and was were i was supposed to be the whole time.Hung out With Miss Cin Jane for a while.Amazing how this girl is.Heraing such bad reviews of myself but yet for some odd reason she still hung out with me.And aftre the whole Illinios trip i was for certiny done with the female race .But She had an impact on me ,a hold in which i could...:smiles:.We started to hang alot.I eventually Asked miss cin jane to be mine.mmmm goodday .scared.afraid.excited.nervouse.and for once felt happy.Since then things have only semeeed to be improving with me.I mean not fast but slowly improving.feeling slowly alive.And in all shes like my best friend.i could go on but theres not enought bandwith on the internet to hold what i feel for that girl.so now i am here were i need to be,in a mood i dont mind being in.seeing things in wich i should have always seen then but just didnt open my eyes to.....well to the devil and you all...( the sun is a star derek james ) Current Mood:
rejuvenatedCurrent Music: slipknot-wait and bleed
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| Wednesday.August 17th.2005:
dear journal I appearently happen to be the biggest fuck up in life.i want to tell every one to stop being friends with me cuase its pointless to be in the first place ill just end up fucking that up too.so just delete me and shit.bye. Current Mood:
 depressedCurrent Music: scooter
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Dear Santa...
accomplished